LOST He's Our You

SPEAKER_02 0:09

Hi and welcome to Sassin Sips. Today we're gonna talk about season five, episode ten of Lost. He's our you. I'm Lisa. And I'm Agnes. Today I'm sipping on coffee, and I didn't make it for myself because I can't get out of bed. Um, so my husband made it for me. Like he he brought me snacks, he cut me some stuff to eat, um and he made me coffee, and I I think it has peanut butter whiskey in it, but I'm not really or some kind of whiskey in it. I don't know. I'm I'm not really sure.

SPEAKER_00 0:54

But I have a question. I'm gonna ask you do you put peanut butter whiskey in your caramel? No, but I don't know why I thought you did, because I'm like, I would totally put the peanut butter whiskey in the caramel.

SPEAKER_02 1:08

Oh you know, when I can walk again, then it'll be my turn.

SPEAKER_00 1:14

Um can get can't yeah, okay. Can you come here and we can just have like a baking weekend?

SPEAKER_01 1:21

Yeah, you could just roll me right on over through however many states.

SPEAKER_00 1:26

Just push you through me. And then listen, hello. I'm a handicap, my house is handicap approved.

SPEAKER_02 1:32

Yeah, I wish they would have handed me a handicap placard along with my crutches because you could apply for temporary one. I'm gonna have to because this is when I pulled up the birds. Hold on, when I pulled up to the urgent care, there was a spot right in front, and somebody grabbed it before I could get like and I was like, oh I mean, of course, they they have no idea, like it wasn't like I was waiting and they stole it, but it's just but then of course the only other spot was like across the lot.

SPEAKER_00 2:03

I I have no I have no sympathy for you in this situation.

SPEAKER_02 2:06

And all the handicapped spots were open.

SPEAKER_00 2:08

I have no sympathy for you in this situation. You driving to urge a kick. I told you this you should have, but anyway, we'll talk about that later. Anyway, what are you drinking? I okay, I may have drinking most of it pre-hit record, but it was the citrus, like grapefruit citrus sodas, soda, soda's soda, with the Jack Daniels apple. And boy, does it hit. My mother would be proud of me if I'm drinking whiskey.

SPEAKER_01 2:40

Oh drinking whiskey, because she's a southern girl, and you know, so nice, cheers, woohoo!

SPEAKER_00 2:48

And I couldn't do that, and now that I'm I guess I'm getting, I guess you have to be a certain age to be able to hold down the good stuff. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 2:56

Um, he's our you, yeah. You got any hot takes? Okay, I do have questions. Okay, the time travel question.

SPEAKER_02 3:08

So this was the episode kind of like following Saeed and how he got back to the island.

SPEAKER_00 3:17

Yes, so I had a like a like a thought, like kind of like a random thought. It wasn't about this particular episode per se. But as Ben is doing '97, what year is it that they're supposed to be in? Like 77. No, before after that, it's supposed to be like Ben.

SPEAKER_02 3:34

Oh, I think it's 2007.

SPEAKER_00 3:36

Okay, so in 2007, yeah. I'm wondering, like, as he's walking through like the jungle, and he's you know, as he's going through this thing, you would think he's remembering things from his childhood because all of a sudden now that you have they went back 30 years and they're now implanted in his past. Like I wonder about Ben, yeah. Ben in 90s, adult Ben, is he having random memories? Because currently, 30 years ago, as he's going through the woods, 30 years ago is happening with the new, like with Kate and Jack and Hurley in his past now that they weren't in his past before. So like it's happening 30 years away but consecutive, right? We're getting it right. Are you on the same roll with me? Uh-uh. Okay, so look at my hand here. This is 2007, right?

SPEAKER_02 4:40

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 4:40

All right, on the beach, 2007.

SPEAKER_02 4:43

And we're talking about from Ben's perspective, yes.

SPEAKER_00 4:46

And this is 2077, this finger right here.

SPEAKER_02 4:51

2077.

SPEAKER_00 4:52

Sorry, 1977.

SPEAKER_02 4:54

And and you're and I'm the one on meds, okay.

SPEAKER_00 4:56

Okay, I also have I finished my drink before this. That's true. You did drink 77, 2007, right? So even though they're like 30 years away, but they're still parallel as far as what's happening. So as he's walking through the jungle, and then all of a sudden you have Hurley and Jack, you're like, wait, he's it all these people like psychic.

SPEAKER_02 5:16

What do you mean is walking through the jungle?

SPEAKER_00 5:18

When is Ben walking through the jungle? Remember when they were like, when son was like, I'm going with you.

SPEAKER_02 5:26

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 5:27

And they're going, you know, they're going to the other island. Right. And even though she hits him in the head. Right. But you know, during this time, you would think because it's happening, it's happening concurrently 30 years away. So you're like, hey, why does he remember seeing Saeed like bringing him food as a child?

SPEAKER_02 5:49

But who says he doesn't?

SPEAKER_00 5:53

I'm wondering if he does know this. Like, I'm like in my head.

SPEAKER_02 5:57

Remember, this is happening now for the oceanic.

SPEAKER_00 6:02

Right, but I'm wondering, like, as he's going through the jungle, it's consecutive, but it's per like it's parallel. I'm like, is he getting these random flashes?

SPEAKER_02 6:11

Even Charlotte had a memory of Daniel Faraday, even though Daniel had no idea what she's doing.

SPEAKER_00 6:17

Yeah, what she's talking about. So I'm wondering as he's going through the woods with you know, and whatever. I'm not saying the the jungle per se, but is he getting these random flashes of Saeed and Hurley and Kate? Like, you know what I mean? Like, is he wondering, like, oh, yeah, oh, okay, what was that? Like, because obviously he knows them from three years ago.

SPEAKER_01 6:41

Yeah, right, right, right. So, like, wait, hold up, wait, wait, what?

SPEAKER_00 6:45

Hold up.

SPEAKER_02 6:46

You're not talking about young Ben, you're talking about adult Ben.

SPEAKER_00 6:49

Adult Ben. Is he having memories of making of yeah, what's happening consecutive 30 years ago? I'm like, wait, what? Who what I'm just wondering, like, is he kind of fucked up over this? Is he having, you know, I know them from three years ago, but apparently I knew them from 30 years ago, too. Right. Right. Because these are in my head new memories. Okay. Because they didn't have, you know what I mean? They're just thrown back in his past now. And then I don't know, you're confusing me, but okay. I can't, like it's in my head, and I know there's someone out there listening to me, they're like, Yeah, I know you're trying to say, but you can't get it out, but I know what you mean. Someone out there knows what I'm talking about because they we know what's happening. But that person's not me, but okay. No, but it's still consecutive. Like the plane landed, the plane crashed at the same time. So they're 30 years away, but they're happening at the same like it's consecutive, like everything's happening at the same time. So the these should be new memories for him. Okay, it's weird. Okay, just also umce you're off the payments. Hopefully, you're like, ah, I know what she's trying to say.

SPEAKER_02 7:59

Maybe. But what I was gonna say is that I'm going to apologize in advance because my windows are open, the dog still has her collar on, and the door is not closed.

SPEAKER_00 8:10

And you're not getting out of your bed.

SPEAKER_02 8:12

I can't, yeah, it's way too far away for me to reach it to close it.

SPEAKER_00 8:17

I mean, even the crutch as like a don't you have like those moments where you wish you ever watched charmed? And you know, I saw it, yeah. You should be able to move things in her mind. You're like, damn, I wish I could close that fuck.

SPEAKER_02 8:27

Like, yeah, close the door. Yep. Okay. Um, I'm gonna think of like some I'll tell you guys how I hurt my ankle.

SPEAKER_00 8:34

Um throughout this episode, you get bit some.

SPEAKER_02 8:38

I really I need to find like a really exciting story. Like, you know, like it was like a motorcycle chase action from the cops with like a white bronco or something.

SPEAKER_00 8:52

All right, honestly, kind of, I don't know, maybe this is a your story is very, very, very relatable, and everyone listening be like, oh my god, I feel you on that one. Oh my god, you put yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:07

Um and I I hobbled my ass to Yankee Stadium for Star Wars Day yesterday, and I am in way more pain today, but honestly, totally worth it. It was a really good game, and I had a good time being like there. What are you looking at?

SPEAKER_00 9:29

I'm mad.

SPEAKER_02 9:30

Why?

SPEAKER_00 9:30

My drink is finished.

SPEAKER_02 9:32

Oh. Um anyway, he's R you. It starts in flashback. Saeed's father drags Saeed's older brother outside to kill the chicken, telling him that it's about time he became a man. When the brother argues, the father asserts his authority, telling him that he will remain outside until the chicken is dead. Haha, a young Saeed steps in to help. After the father leaves, and without hesitation, he wrinks the chicken's neck. When the father returns and discovers that the chicken is dead, he congratulates the brother. Except that the brother admits that it's Said who killed the chicken, and then the father's like, Well, at least one of you will be a man. Next we go to Moscow. Saeed pursues a man into an apartment, and as Saeed trains the gun upon him, and Andropov, Andropov, I'm sorry, I don't speak Russian, offers a bribe in exchange for his life. Only to be gunned down instead. Said leaves the building that appears to have a sign reading 32 Oldham pharmaceuticals in Russian. Saeed walks on a brisk clip down the street with St. Basil's Cathedral in the background. He turns and enters through a double gate where he meets Ben. Ben informs Said that he has killed the last of Whidmore's people that were that were in danger to the Oceanic Six. And that Saeed is free to go live his life. Except that Saeed's confused, like, that's it, this is the end.

unknown 11:17

Right.

SPEAKER_00 11:19

Yeah, because there's sometimes you're like, well, eventually there has to be an end. But as you're watching TV, there's never like a like a serial show, there's never an end. So you're like, wait, what? Does it end?

SPEAKER_02 11:29

Yeah. Then we go to Santo Domingo, and Said is seen helping to construct the school as part of a charity called Build Our World. Ben appears to inform Saeed of Locke's death, attributing it to murder by one of Whidmore's men in retribution for their activities. Ben forewarns the danger Saeed is in of being found as easily as Ben found him. He also apprises Saeed of a man perched outside the Santa Rosa Mental Health Institute watching Curly for a week. Said determines that Ben's true mission is to prod Saeed into killing that man. Ben reasons Saeed's capability of accomplishing things most other men can't, and how killing is in Saeed's nature. Saeed tells Ben that he's mistaken as he does not like killing, to which Ben says, then I was mistaken and walks away. And now the irony, right, is that assuming that Ben has all of these memories of him and Saeed that Saeed doesn't even have yet. Ben knows that Saeed shot him and tried to kill him. Except that Saeed doesn't know he did it yet.

SPEAKER_00 12:56

Holy shit. But fucking Nanas. Right? But fucking Nanas.

SPEAKER_02 13:02

So Ben is acting on things that Saeed doesn't even know about himself yet. But my question is, okay, but does it really happen? Because he like 30 years ago. Why wouldn't it happen? Because remember, as Daniel says, you can't change the past. I'm a So going by lost rules.

SPEAKER_00 13:26

That's why you no wonder you it already happened. It already happened for Ben. In theory, based on so based on that theory.

SPEAKER_02 13:36

And remember, when they got back to the island, Ben is not in 77. Ben is in 2007.

SPEAKER_00 13:43

Right. No, based on that theory, for them to have already been there, but at the same time, they would have to for they have to get to present time. Well, not present time, they had to get present time minus three years to actually get into the airplane to have the first accident.

SPEAKER_02 14:08

You mean in 77?

SPEAKER_00 14:10

Right, they would have to leave 77. At one point, they would have to leave 77.

SPEAKER_01 14:15

No, because the plane crashed already happened for them. They're just going back and forth. Home main.

SPEAKER_00 14:29

Oh, that's a complete mind fuck.

SPEAKER_02 14:31

So the plane, so even though they're in 1977, 2004, 5, 6 already happened for them. Already happened for them. It did not happen for Horace and Rajinski. And even Ben. Ben is is living chronologically, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 14:54

Back to my previous statement on the writers. They're on some serious shit.

SPEAKER_02 15:01

Okay, so next we're gonna go to Los Angeles. After leaving the marina, Said is drinking McCutcheon whiskey. Oh, Said was drinking whiskey too. I forgot about that. He's approached by Ilana, they flirt and ends up going to a hotel room. As they kiss and she lies back, Said starts to take off her boot only to receive a kick to the head. She holds him at gunpoint and reveals that she's been employed to take him to Guam by the family of Peter Avalino. That's the guy that he killed on the golf course. Yes. Okay. The next day, she escorts him to the airport. After noticing some of the Oceanic 6, Kate, Hurley, and Jack about to board Ajira Airways flight 316 to Guam, and he's like, uh, could we take a different flight? He's like, you know. You know, she's like, I'll buy you a lucky rabbit's foot. On the plane, he sees Ben bored and accuses Ilana of working for him, which she denies. He describes Ben as a liar, a manipulator, and a monster. And when she asks how he or sorry, when she asks why anyone will work for a man like that, he replies, I did. On the island. Said is in the Dharma Initiative's jail. Young Ben brings Saeed a sandwich and a book. I guess it's like his go-to when anybody is like in custody. Hey, bring him a sandwich.

SPEAKER_00 16:40

I mean. Bring me food. I'm gonna be appreciative.

SPEAKER_02 16:45

Ben asks if Richard sent him and says that he'll help Saeed. Saeed is later questioned by Horace Goodspeed and Radzinski, but does not reveal anything. Juliet expresses her concern to Sawyer that their life with the Dharma initiative will be jeopardized because of Kate, Jack, and Hurley's return to the island. Horace tells Sawyer of Said's side Horace tells Sawyer of Said's silence, so Sawyer goes to Said one on one and tries to convince him to give a false confession of being a defective from the island's native population, the others, or as they call them, the hostiles, but Saeed refuses. During breakfast at the Dharma cafeteria, Kate asks about Saeed's fate, to which Jack has no answer despite talking to Sawyer of the night before. When she says she's gonna ask Juliet about it, Hurliet Hurliet Hurliet, I like that one. Hurley mentions the fact that Juliet and Sawyer are in a relationship. Kate is shocked and learns that Jack knew about it. Young Ben brings Saeed another sandwich, except that he finds his father, Roger, already in the room. Ben lies and says that he brought the sandwich for him, but his father's an asshole and assaults him.

SPEAKER_00 18:16

He gets into is that little ad lipping you added there? But his father's an asshole. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 18:20

I know his father's an asshole. Um he and then he admits that the sandwich was actually for Saeed. Like when when NSC Roger is like, you know, Roger Workman. He's like, oh, how dumb are you to get caught by these idiots and blah blah blah. He's like, yeah, except you're the idiot that mops up after them. Sorry.

SPEAKER_00 18:43

Pretty much.

SPEAKER_02 18:45

Uh Saida subsequently taken to Oldham. Oldem. Oldem? Oldem?

SPEAKER_00 18:59

That's what I was doing. I was thinking old. Dharma's I'm ready to act this.

SPEAKER_02 19:06

So oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 19:08

That bothers you. Of all the things I can say, you're like, oh my god. I don't blame you.

SPEAKER_02 19:14

He's Dharma's resident interrogation expert. And when Saeed asks Sawyer about him, Sawyer's like, he's R you. Oldham gives Saeed a few drops of a drug on a sugar cube, which forces him to tell the truth. Said reveals his knowledge of the Dharma stations. And he's like, Well, the flame does this, and the pearl does this, and the swan does this. Randzisky is like going bananas because he's like, I told you, I told you, he's a spy. How did he even know we didn't even pick a name yet? Um Saeed is like, well, that's because I was already here and I returned.

SPEAKER_00 19:56

And but is that the most logical explanation? Like, hello, why didn't you like why did totally get that?

SPEAKER_02 20:05

Right, like Saeed is literally telling the truth, except that to them it's like, what the actual fuck?

SPEAKER_00 20:11

Okay, so it's funny. Random thought. If someone came to you and like X, Y, and Z, because I was here, right? And I came back, like what happened to you like today? What the fuck would you do?

SPEAKER_01 20:21

I'd be like, tell me more. And who won the lottery? And what's the lot winning lottery numbers? What are the lottery numbers?

SPEAKER_02 20:26

And what stock should I buy into? Tell me more. I would listen. Um, yeah, so he's like, Oh, that I came on a plane and I, you know, to return. They're like, return, and he's like, Yeah, I was here a few years ago, spent uh a hundred days, and then he's like, and you're all gonna die. He's like, just ask Sawyer. Like, who's Sawyer? Um, and then Oldham is like, maybe I should have only given him half a dropper. I love how like the the most logical is like that you screwed up the dosage, not that this could be like a time traveling guy.

SPEAKER_00 21:09

I mean, it is more logical.

SPEAKER_02 21:11

It is, it is random thought.

SPEAKER_00 21:15

My cause last week my daughter made bagels. Come scratch. They're 100% better better than bagels bought here.

SPEAKER_02 21:23

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 21:24

I don't understand why they can't make bagels here. Like, what the fuck? Why do I have to have Lisa? Well, not anymore because she's crippled, ship me bagels from New York.

SPEAKER_02 21:35

Maybe in a month or two. You should come here and take care of me. Just spend the summer here.

SPEAKER_00 21:42

Uh, my boss is already trying to get me to go to work in the other location.

SPEAKER_02 21:46

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 21:48

And I'm like, no. We're talking more about that.

SPEAKER_02 21:51

Off tape.

SPEAKER_00 21:53

Like off the record.

SPEAKER_02 21:55

Um, Sae starts laughing hysterically and replies, You used. Just the right amount. Meanwhile, Juliet is showing Kate around the motor pool where she's gonna be working. And Kate reveals that she knows about her and Sawyer because Hurley told her. And Juliet's like, well, that's a relief because I didn't know how to tell you without making it sound like I was saying to stay away. Both women still appear uncomfortable, but they're interrupted from further conversation by Sawyer walking the motor pool, um, by Sawyer walking by the motor pool holding a captive Saeed. That evening, several members of the Dharma Initiative take a vote to decide whether to execute Said. After an impassioned speech from New Mother Amy holding newborn Ethan, she's like, oh, I can't sleep with one eye open. They basically all vote to kill him. Who's hostile now?

SPEAKER_00 22:59

Colonial colonialism at its best. But this whole shit just pisses me off to the highest level of specificity. I'm chewing on a bagel, sorry.

SPEAKER_02 23:11

Yeah, you're eating in front of me. After the vote, Sawyer attempts to let Said escape one last time. But Saeed refuses again. He says that he found his purpose for returning to the island. Later in the evening, Sawyer goes to Kate's house and asks her why she came back to the island. But before she can answer, a flaming Dharmavan runs through the barracks and crashes into one of the houses. While everyone is distracted by the fire, Ben helps Said escape from the holding cell and they flee into the jungle. Saeed spotted by Jinn, who drives by their location in a van. Said approaches Jinn and tells him that Sawyer allowed him to escape, but when Jinn radios for confirmation, Said knocks him unconscious and takes his gun. Ben is impressed with Saeed's combat skill and suggests that they keep moving. But while still crouched over Jinn's body, Saeed quietly says, You were right about me. I am a killer. After a moment of reflection, he shoots Ben in the chest and runs off into the jungle. I mean, obviously we know that Ben doesn't die. I mean, spoiler alert. But I love the the full circle, you know, moment.

SPEAKER_00 24:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:39

Of like the beginning is like, no, Saeed, you are a killer.

SPEAKER_00 24:43

And because like I said, he has this knowledge already, and Saeed just but the funny thing is, he caused him to do that.

SPEAKER_02 24:54

Right. It's um I forgot what you call it. Like the Yeah, yeah. So this is actually the only time. No. This is only the third time that we see Saeed laughing, even though it was under the effects of the drugs. The first time was in um The Pilot, and the second time, well, it was when he heard Rousseau's distress signal, and the second time was during the raft launch in Exodus. Some of the cultural references, a separate reality. Ben gives this book to Saeed to read. It's written by Carlos Castaneda in 1971. This allegedly nonfiction book is about a man's experience working with a self-proclaimed sorcerer. The authenticity of the book, along with the rest of Castaneda series, has been a topic of debate since they were published. Part of the story is about the effects of plants that caused mind alterations, like mushrooms, that help people see. In the book, Don Juan talks of allies who can appear in any form, and of one in particular he calls little smoke. Some of the ironic things is that Ben after Said kills the last guy in Russia, Ben tells Saeed, You're free. And then shortly after, Saeed ends up back on the island and a prisoner. Not so free. Not so free. Sawyer describes Ben, young Ben, as a sweet kid. Sawyer asks, why are we on your clock, Rodzinski? And Radzinski is working on a station whose purpose will be to push a button every 108 minutes, essentially on Radzinski's clock. Oh I mean, it's not so much of a cliffhanger. Right? Because we know that Ben survived. So it's not like, oh my god, is he gonna die?

SPEAKER_00 27:22

I mean it's a cliff, I don't want to say cliffhanger, but it's like, okay, what happens next? How did they get him not to die? Like what's gonna happen?

SPEAKER_02 27:31

Maybe because as we see, right? Like in Lost, the dead don't always stay dead.

SPEAKER_00 28:07

So who cares how and why just wash the damn thing and try not to get too aggravated? Copy. Doesn't work. It's still a little bit aggravating, but you know. I was just looking at um Facebook, like memories back when we used to do this, like during COVID, and we had nothing to do but to literally record all day and drink bottles of wine all day long. I was like, uh, it was work-related. I had to drink three bottles of wine.

SPEAKER_02 28:49

Oh, I like that how in the episode when Hurley is telling Kate. And he's like, like Jack uh Sailor and Juliet are together, you know, like the way Kate and Jack were.

SPEAKER_00 29:11

Yeah, he's like a he's like a teenager, he's like that, like that kid. It's cute. I like it.

SPEAKER_02 29:16

It's kind of like the irony too, right? Because like here comes Kate kind of being like, you know, about Sawyer and Juliet together. But it's like, were you not just with Jack? Right. So the scene of young Saeed's brother forced to kill a chicken is reminiscent of the scene of young Echo's brother forced to kill a man.

SPEAKER_00 29:46

Oh, I miss Echo. Of the dead that don't say dead, Echo should have been brought back in some in some form.

SPEAKER_02 29:55

We see Saeed's father, who was previously called a great hero by Tariq in episode one of them. That McCutcheon whiskey has come back.

SPEAKER_03 30:12

Huh?

SPEAKER_02 30:13

Um, that's the whiskey that remember um Charles Whidmore said that was too good for Desmond. Oh, okay, yeah. You know, and every time that they're like drinking a whiskey, it's always like McCutcheon. You know, because good whiskey. Um what?

SPEAKER_00 30:27

What did I miss? I don't Okay. I'm like, I don't have I don't have whiskey in the house. I was just a little shot that I drank. It's gone now. When you go back to do the edits, you're gonna have a little snippet of Simon snoring. Okay. He has no sense of personal space. No feeling.

SPEAKER_02 30:57

No, neither do my animals, who two of them are right like next to my right leg.

SPEAKER_00 31:02

At least they're next to you. My cat doesn't become one with me.

SPEAKER_02 31:06

Well, let me tell you something. When I got home from the ER after spending the whole fucking day in the ER, I was tired, I was in pain, I was hungry because I hadn't eaten anything all day, and it was like seven something at night. And poor, like I propped myself on the couch, put my foot up, and put a blanket because it got like a little bit chilly, and I, you know, you just want like that that kind of comfort, cozy. Yeah, and poor Stella just did not know what to do with herself, so she jumped right on top of my lap. Mm-hmm. So we had to put the tray tables. My mom came over to the house, you know, to check on me. She made me soup. Like, you know, my dad is like, oh, good old Florence Nightingale at her doing what she does. I was like, Yep. Um, and so she she blocked off the rest of the couch with like tray tables. She ordered a suitcase for Amaris for her trip. So the big ass box that the suitcase was in. Uh-huh. She put that on the other side of the couch so that Stella could and Stella is she looked like a caged animal. You know, like when they just paste, the tigers just paste.

SPEAKER_00 32:26

Yeah, she's like, I want my mom.

SPEAKER_02 32:28

She just kept doing that in front of the couch, looking at me like, mom, mom, how do I get up there? Like, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom.

SPEAKER_00 32:35

And he just kept telling her. That's why she just saw on you, like fuck it. I'm gonna jump on her head. Like, I can get to her head.

SPEAKER_02 32:42

And it's so funny because as I'm even before I went, and I'm like trying to hobble up the steps, you know, and I'm like, kind of like a hop, you know. She was usually, you know, she barrels up the steps, like to the point where it's like, oh my god, she's gonna knock me down and kill me one day. Right. She went one at a time with me. I was like, oh. So um, I broke my ankle, and I broke it killing a spider. That's the short story. In my defense, it was a spider. My defense.

SPEAKER_00 33:26

Do you know how that like you there is this is like one of those things you're like not guilty, there's no defense needed. It was a spider, but you know, yes.

SPEAKER_02 33:37

So Thursday night before I was going to bed, I was I had done laundry, so the laundry was on my bed, I was folding it, putting it away, and then I was trying to, you know, like I had kind of pulled all the clothes out because I I was a little bit behind on my laundry, so I was trying to grab the stuff to wash that I needed more important, you know, like the priority stuff. Yes. So there were clothes all over the floor in front of like in between like the bench and the laundry basket. So I was cleaning that area up, putting that stuff back when I noticed a spider on the ceiling towards like the foot of the bed. I was gonna go to bed. I could not have a spider on the ceiling over my bed while I slept. I'm sorry, not gonna happen. Because we all know I would have woken up and like there would have been like hundreds of spiders crawling out of my ear, or I would have been wrapped up in a web.

SPEAKER_00 34:39

Like in a cocoon.

SPEAKER_02 34:42

All the worst things that could happen would have been. But wait, there's more. So I stepped up on said bench that is like it can't be more than two feet high. Like it's tiny, it's small, it's it's a little bench, it's a it's a foot of the bed bench. And I killed the spider. The spider is dead. The dead spider is actually still on the ceiling.

SPEAKER_00 35:12

Actually, you know, I have a thought on that, but but I have a theory on what's your theory? I told you to be careful when you kill spiders and make sure they're not.

SPEAKER_02 35:21

Oh, oh god, shut up. No, Alex is gonna eventually take care of it and vacuum everything. I was like, you see what I sacrificed to get it killed? Yeah, he's like, why did you he was like, you never, you never kill the bugs. You always call one of the kids to do it. I was like, and this is why you see what happens when I try to do it myself.

SPEAKER_00 35:44

So Lisa, tell us more how the accident happened. You killed Charlotte.

SPEAKER_02 35:50

So then stepping down, I miscalculated. I thought it was lower, and I wasn't paying attention because I was making sure that spider didn't fall off the ceiling on me.

SPEAKER_00 36:03

Which is worse, a spider landing on you or a dead spider? I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 36:08

Both of them are bad.

SPEAKER_00 36:09

She hates me right now.

SPEAKER_02 36:12

So I just I stepped down very wrong, landed on my ankle, and my left ankle just rolled right underneath me. I went down. I think the only good thing is that my daughter's room is right underneath my room, so she heard my ass hit the floor. She was like, Are you okay? I couldn't even speak. I was in so much pain, I could not even speak. And I'm just like, all I could get out was no. They came up and they're like, What happened? And I'm like, Spider.

SPEAKER_00 36:49

Like, I've heard this story a couple of times, and my ankle still hurts with her and like sympathy pain every time I hear it. I've heard it like, oh my god, my lease.

SPEAKER_02 37:01

I mean, I was it was like searing, hot pain, hot cold, sweating, nauseous. I thought I was gonna puke. They're like, Do you want the trash? I was like, no, I want my bed. They picked me up, they put me in bed, they got like a pillow, they got me ice, they got me um some pain medication, some water. And I was like, all I want to do is go. They're like, Do you want us to call dad? And I'm like, nah, what's he gonna do? Like, truly, I thought that I mean I knew I hurt myself. Obviously, I hurt myself. I really just thought that I like twisted it kind of bad, maybe like pulled a muscle or I broke.

SPEAKER_00 37:43

She sent me the picture the next morning, and I've never ever seen anything that bad before.

SPEAKER_02 37:51

I've never seen and then the best part is in the morning when Alex woke up, I had asked him if we had a cane in the house. And he's like, No. And I'm like, great, we have 42 televisions, 17 refrigerators, but no cane. Okay, awesome. It's it's glad that we have our priorities. And he's like, and why are you using my pillow for your foot? He was like, There's other pillows, and I'm like, that was the one that I grabbed. He's like, but it's your foot. I was like, I'll change a fucking pillow case. I don't care. I was like, I needed a pillow, a pillow for my foot, and he's like, Oh, yeah, it's pretty swollen. He's like, Oh, let me get the icy hot, the biofreeze. I was like, biofreeze is not gonna do anything. He's like, Yeah, it'll help. I'm like, I don't care. He he's rubbing biofreeze on what apparently was a broken ankle.

SPEAKER_00 38:45

But even if it wasn't broken, it really really it wasn't.

SPEAKER_02 38:48

I knew it wasn't gonna help, but it made him, I think it made him feel better. And he as as he's touching it, I'm like, oh, ow, ow, and he's just like trying to.

SPEAKER_00 38:59

I know he was just trying to help, but it's like when you're kicking up when you cook when they're like three.

SPEAKER_02 39:05

Yeah, and then later he's like, Well, if I knew your ankle was broken, I would have stayed home too. I was like, if I knew my ankle was broken, like right. So I went to urgent care. Urgent care was like, um, you need an ER. So then I went to urgent care and an ER. And I am currently still waiting. I I didn't go to the to the urgent care of the ER until Friday. Because when I I thought I was gonna wake up and it was gonna be like sore, but fine. But um, it was not.

SPEAKER_00 39:37

It was not.

SPEAKER_02 39:39

Yeah, so right now I have just like this big ass splint, and they gave me a boot, they gave me crutches, and everything hurts. Everything, my hands hurt, my under arms hurt, my knee hurts from the top of the splint, keep hitting my knee, and it like the and the back, it like pinches. Um obviously my ankle hurts. I can wiggle my toes, my toes feel okay. So I um, but yeah, that's my story. Um, so my call to action this week is if any of you could think of a better story for me to tell, something way more exciting, um, please send it in because when people ask me how did I break my ankle, I would love to not say I fell killing a spider. So I have no idea. Um, I know that it's gonna need a hard cast, um, but they can't put it on until the swelling goes down. So I know I'm gonna need that. I don't know how long it's gonna be in for. And I'm like, my fucking god. She's why does it have to happen like in the summer when I want to be like getting a tan or or in the pool? Like, it's not even like it's my arm that I could just dip my body and keep my arm up. It's and how do you carry things with crutches? Like, if I want to get a cup of coffee, you'll be okay.

SPEAKER_00 41:12

You're okay by July. It is not like I mean, come on, it's not like you have to wait, not like it's like you have July and August of fucked up summer.

SPEAKER_02 41:21

You know what? There's nothing I can do. So I can sit here and complain and be miserable, and at the end of the day, it's still what it is, it's not even gonna change anything.

SPEAKER_00 41:30

So I am still going to yell at you. I feel like by she's already getting cabin fever. It's been what 12 hours she's been in bed.

SPEAKER_02 41:37

And what do I do for the itching? Oh my god, it's so itchy underneath there.

SPEAKER_00 41:43

Just get a really long fork.

SPEAKER_02 41:45

I know. Okay, that's another thing. So if you guys know any tricks to help with the itching, oh, or anything, anything, anything, anything. If any of you guys have ever broken a bone, this is the first time I broke a bone. If any of you guys know any tips or tricks, please, please, please, I beg you, send them to me. And all then the only pain medication I'm on is neproxen. So it's not even like I'm on any good shit. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:18

I mean, what's the point of breaking a bone if you can't get some I know?

SPEAKER_02 42:23

So I'm on the proxin in the morning and the night. That's it, twice a day.

SPEAKER_00 42:27

I just need you to promise me to take care of yourself and don't be superwoman.

SPEAKER_02 42:31

I can't make any promises.

SPEAKER_00 42:32

I'm a kid to take care of. I understand that, but two of them are self-sufficient.

SPEAKER_02 42:38

I know what you're saying.

SPEAKER_00 42:40

But they if you keep because at this rate, if you don't take care of yourself, that cast is gonna be on until August. I know. I know. Like realistically, I know, but and I know, and the reason I'm yelling at you now before you even did anything, I'm yelling at you now because I know you're gonna try to do it. I know you're gonna do it. Yeah, like because I would.

SPEAKER_02 43:00

Um like going to Yankee Stadium.

SPEAKER_00 43:04

I didn't even, I listen, I didn't even I didn't give you any flack yesterday. I knew you went, I knew you were going to go. I'm like, I'm gonna leave this alone. But starting today, until you completely until they take that cast off, you need to take it easy. You can ease into doing stuff. You're gonna try to do shit now while you don't even have a cast on. You can't do that, it's not protected.

SPEAKER_02 43:26

Can I say something also though? No, and and this is no no, and this is so bad, but like, okay. I don't know how many of you out there live in a city that is heavily populated, such as like New York City or the Bronx or Yankee Stadium after a game.

SPEAKER_00 43:53

That's your fault. But go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 43:55

But here's the PSA, okay? When you see a person coming with crutches and there is no room for that person to get by the person without the crutches, can you please move over one step so that when the person with the crutches passes, they can pass. And if you don't move, then you damn well deserve to get hit with the said crutches.

SPEAKER_00 44:17

And I don't feel like so nice about it. I do not be like, move the fuck out the way and stop being a good thing.

SPEAKER_02 44:25

Me.

SPEAKER_00 44:25

I you know, I kind of wish that it kind of like the the bottom of the crutch would have landed on his toe and that you put the weight down.

SPEAKER_02 44:34

No, no, no. That would no as I swung it, I smacked it.

SPEAKER_00 44:38

Okay, that's a pretty good one, too. Ass, I mean, what the likelihood that he's listening? I would love someone to listen to this and then just share it, and then a Vidrick is back to him. Dude, you're an asshole.

SPEAKER_02 44:52

Like you, you you had a good eight to ten feet where you saw me coming.

SPEAKER_00 44:57

Just to kind of shuffle out the way.

SPEAKER_02 44:59

Just shuffle, just like move it. You could have you could have taken my one step. I know you didn't expect the girl with the crutches to walk around you. Like I was going in a straight line.

SPEAKER_00 45:11

You within the stanchion. So it wasn't like she could just walk out the way. There were then stanches.

SPEAKER_02 45:16

No, no, no, right. I could there was I I couldn't move over. I couldn't. There was nowhere for me to go on the other side.

SPEAKER_00 45:22

Honestly, if you didn't have crutches, if everyone's gonna go to the water.

SPEAKER_02 45:25

Oh, I would have fit fine.

SPEAKER_00 45:27

But still, standing there kind of a dick move anyway. Right. When there's a a line of people going. That's like that's like standing on the left side of the escalator while it's going up.

SPEAKER_02 45:38

The other side of people who were like on so I was to his left. To his right, there were a line of people moving, but that's where like the bulk of the crowd was going. I know I'm not going fast, like I'm slow as shit. So I wanted to go the opposite way so as not to hold up every single person behind me. So that's why I was trying to stay off to the side. So like you saw me on that side. You saw me walking. Well, hopping.

SPEAKER_00 46:12

Hop along, Cassidy. He's that guy that stands that stands still on the left side of an up escalator or any escalator. Yeah, everyone knows on the right, the right side stands still, the left side, you you you move.

SPEAKER_02 46:27

He's the guy who walks through a doorway and stops. And stops.

SPEAKER_00 46:32

Ugh.

SPEAKER_02 46:33

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 46:35

Yeah. Oh god, I hate those.

SPEAKER_02 46:37

So I look forward to more instances where I can beat people with my crutches.

SPEAKER_00 46:43

Okay, that is a good part. That is the fun part. You're gonna have a lot of you're gonna have a lot of opportunities of people being douchebags.

SPEAKER_02 46:51

That I didn't even know I could have. Although my hands hurt, like I couldn't even open up a water bottle this morning.

SPEAKER_03 46:58

Oh, like to take to take the medicine.

SPEAKER_02 47:00

Yeah. Because it's so small that it I I couldn't like squeeze my hand shut and like tight enough. The pill bottles were big and bigger, so I can get those, but the water was too small. I couldn't I couldn't open it as it was scraping, you know, like this part. Oh it was, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:23

See, it's so um, yeah, yeah, it it hurts.

SPEAKER_00 47:29

You promise me for at least the first couple of days of your work week, you stay upstairs.

SPEAKER_01 47:35

Ah no. If I don't wake these kids up, they're not gonna get up for school.

SPEAKER_00 47:43

I'm gonna start cursing in Spanish, Lisa. You can, but because it doesn't it's not, it's just it's a splint on it. You don't have the cast on yet. Your ankle is you can do major damage to your ankle, go up and down your stairs. And then what, Lisa? And then what?

SPEAKER_02 48:00

And then they could just, you know, just chop off the whole fucking ankle, just take it. I don't mean that.

SPEAKER_00 48:06

That's it. I'm never talking. That's it. I'll never come visit you again if you don't behave yourself. You're not a good patient. I would never be, I would never come visit you ever again. Okay, that she was trying to get me. Why don't you just come here? No, you like that too much.

SPEAKER_02 48:21

Yeah. Anyway, visit usassinsips.com. I just hit the mic, I'm sorry. Um I can't really have like my usual setup because I'm at the mercy of the people around me. I'm like, just bring me this, bring me that. So like they just dumped it all in the bed.

SPEAKER_00 48:38

Like at least you have people dumping stuff on your bed.

SPEAKER_02 48:42

That's true.

SPEAKER_00 48:43

I just I can't ask Simon to do much.

SPEAKER_02 48:47

No. I wish Stella knew how to fetch.

SPEAKER_00 48:50

Stella would totally if she knew how to, she would totally do it.

SPEAKER_02 48:54

Yeah. Uh, and I gotta pee really bad. So I'm gonna have to start making my way over there.

SPEAKER_00 49:04

Be careful.

SPEAKER_02 49:04

It's gonna take me a few. Be careful.

SPEAKER_00 49:07

Maybe we should get your cat-home catheter.

SPEAKER_02 49:11

Maybe not a catheter. That hurts.

SPEAKER_01 49:14

Maybe a bed pan. Oh, you know, they have they have like the one, it's okay. So it's kind of okay. Just give me a chuck's pad. I'll just pee pee myself. But they have like this thing.

SPEAKER_00 49:26

It's um imagine a pad, but it fits right right in between your leg, like the lips of your, you know, vaginal area. It's usually the hospitals at home too, and it's attached to a suction cup, like a like a like a tube, and it's and it sucks it out. Like when you pee on yourself, when you pee, they suck it into like this thing. It's kind of like like yeah, we're gonna get you one of those things. It's like an external, I guess for lack of better external catheter. And it's like, I think we should get you, yeah, just stay in bed. Suck it out. That way it's not wet between your legs, kind of just sucks, you know, it absorbs it and then sucks it out into that thing. Kind of cool. It's actually quite cool. My mother had one, it's really, really cool. Um, anything to keep you from not getting out of the bed was kind of like, yeah, winning. Yeah. You'll have your cooler, you have your cooler in there. Have the kids bring up a coffee maker or the current, like bring the coffee maker upstairs. Oh, that's right. Okay, you're a coffee maker, current, it's one thing. Bring up the coffee maker. You'll be all you'll be fine. Oh, you need coffee and wine. Like, what else is there in life?

SPEAKER_02 50:41

Actually, I can get up and down the stairs pretty good on my ass. So I'll just put it down. Again, I hit the mic. Put it down. One step. Next step. One step. Next step.

SPEAKER_00 51:00

I'm telling you, doctor. I'm gonna call your doctor like this bitch. Do it.

SPEAKER_02 51:03

I don't even have if you could find my doctor, because I don't even have one. I don't know who my doctor is. You don't have a doctor?

SPEAKER_00 51:09

No. Another reason for me to yell at you.

SPEAKER_02 51:15

My primary care retired. And you didn't get one yet? No. Because the one who took over his practice, I started to see her. I remember you didn't like her. I remember. I mean, I wasn't thrilled with her, but then she one she moved her office, so it's further from me now, which wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing, but then she also made her hours so that she's done by 4 p.m. every day.

SPEAKER_00 51:46

I'm sorry, I have a job. Like I don't understand how someone can take someone's practice over, but then completely move and change your hour.

SPEAKER_02 51:55

Like right. And I'm just like, okay, well, if you're independently wealthy, I need to work every day. I feel like you move more.

SPEAKER_00 52:06

Like, if you take over someone's practice, you're taking over their patience, not the building. You take over their patience, right? But you're completely you change your hours and you moved your location. You really didn't want the patience then, right? Like what the point? What's the point?

SPEAKER_02 52:19

So is it like, so you're not gonna see her? Are you gonna pay my day's wages that I'm losing so that I can come get a refill on my asthma inhaler? Like, I can't use my sick time to see a doctor every three months that's because she kept wanting me to come back to check the medication, check the check, you know, whatever. And I'm just like No, Todo fuck herself. I can't.

SPEAKER_00 52:48

I am so not nice today.

SPEAKER_02 52:50

So I was like, no, I I'll find a new doctor then, and I haven't yet.

SPEAKER_00 52:54

But all right, fine. I'm okay. I'm not gonna yell at you for that, but you cannot, Lisa. You can't you can't. It's not protected, it's a temporary fix. You can't if you hit it by mistake, Lisa. I know. You have two kids that are self-sufficient and a husband, and then one, she's she'll learn to be self-sufficient. She's not a baby.

SPEAKER_02 53:20

You know what sucks so much, too, is that when I stretch, I like to move your yeah, roll my flex your ankle. Oh, and I feel and I obviously cannot do that.

SPEAKER_00 53:33

I think we should take a poll. Like, how many people think Lisa's gonna say fuck healing and just do what she wants to do? Because she knows that I'm all the way in Wisconsin. I can't come there and yell at her. She's not afraid. All right.

SPEAKER_02 53:53

Um we're gonna get off this. Um, because I have to use the bathroom. It's gonna take 10 years to it's going to take a long time, yes.

SPEAKER_00 54:00

All right, let's sign off.

SPEAKER_02 54:02

And um, did I say sassinsips.com? We didn't do any of that shit. Don't drink and drive, don't break your ankles killing spiders.

SPEAKER_01 54:14

And until next time, I'm Lisa. And I'm Agnes, and we're out of here. Stay later bye.