LOST The Substitute

SPEAKER_02 0:09

Hi, and welcome to today's episode of Sass and Tips. Today we are gonna talk about Lost, Season Six, Episode What is this, episode four? The substitute.

SPEAKER_04 0:22

The substitute.

SPEAKER_02 0:24

Yeah. I think it's episode four.

SPEAKER_04 0:26

That sounds right. Let's go forward with that.

SPEAKER_02 0:28

Yeah, you know. I am Lisa, and I am drinking the rabbit and spaghetti wine today. And what how do we think about that? I don't know, I didn't sip it yet, but sniff it. That's good with my allergy nose because I don't know why I think I'm allergic to podcasting. Every time we get on, I'm like, oh my allergies.

SPEAKER_04 0:52

Maybe you're allergic to alcohol.

SPEAKER_02 0:55

Well, no, don't you actually use alcohol first before you I mean I woke up like this. And I'm not referring to like my beauty, I'm referring to like the allergies.

SPEAKER_04 1:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:06

Maybe I'm allergic to podcasting.

SPEAKER_04 1:08

Maybe you're allergic to me. This is good. Nice.

SPEAKER_02 1:15

I can't really tell you what it tastes like.

SPEAKER_04 1:18

I'm the worst wine taster because you're such an amazing yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:24

Yeah, definitely. It's kind of fruity.

SPEAKER_04 1:30

I mean it's made with fruit.

SPEAKER_02 1:32

No. I slay me. Never would have known that wine was made from fruit. Don't make me have to make you laugh. I mean, I'm you'll pop a stitch and I'll spill wine all over my computer.

SPEAKER_04 1:51

Yeah, but if I pop a stitch, I might end up back in the hospital. And then I'll have to have a GoFundMe page.

SPEAKER_02 2:00

Okay, hold on. Let me see. All right. You say what who you are and what you're drinking, and I'll try to get like a better word to describe this.

SPEAKER_04 2:07

Okay. Um, who am I? I know I'm Agnes, and I'm still drinking unlaced coffee. I know I have to wait at least at least I think another two to three weeks. For the healing process, and I want to heal, so yeah. I am abstaining from alcohol. You know, I am serious about my healing if I'm abstaining through alcohol. Being such a responsible adult sucks ass.

SPEAKER_02 2:38

In my uneducated wine opinion, it is sweet and it's not dry. I would assume that this is what they mean when they say like full body. I think I might like that. Yeah, it's good. I probably would buy a bottle of this. And I usually like the drier wines, but I like this. Nice. So we'll see what happens. How much I drink. Okay, the substitute. And yes, we know there's a movie by the same name.

SPEAKER_04 3:09

Hot takes? Okay, I don't know if it was a hot take about this episode per se, but I had a moment and I'm just like, they're all dead.

SPEAKER_02 3:18

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_04 3:19

Okay, so they're two lives, like on the island, and then what would have happened? I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 3:24

Like I don't know there's the on island, and then there's the off island. So they're two different like I'm stupid. They're dead in both, or they're dead in one, or they're dead time.

SPEAKER_04 3:35

They're dead in the time. And I roll the I think well, I don't oh actually. Don't be one of those people. No, you have me thinking I'll be dead in both. No, I think they're dead in one of them. And I'm leaning towards the off-island only because it's relatively positive.

SPEAKER_02 3:56

What do you mean, relatively positive?

SPEAKER_04 3:58

I mean, I'm waiting for the I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. Everyone's life seems to be relatively, you know, okay. Well, as opposed to what? As opposed to lost, is what I mean. Like lost came to uh his own epiphany, like, you know, I am accepting who I am and I'm gonna move forward with this. And who else was there? Rose is you know what? Yes, I'm dying, but everyone is kind of come to terms with their lives. That's what I mean. They've come to terms with it is what it is. So far, we don't know what's going on with anyone else yet. And I feel like that sense of coming to terms is what you do when you're when you're gone, like that afterlife part, that purgatory part. Like you come to terms with your life and what you did and what you didn't do. So I think the off-island is their afterlife. I don't know why. But I know, like it's too my lost standards, it's too rosy. You know what I mean? I'm like, okay, that can't. It's too good to be like what actually happened. Okay. So yeah. Everything sucks in Lost. All right. So you ask, like, you've been asking me for the last, like, I don't know, 600 episodes. What do you think of this? What do you think of that? I'm like, I don't know. This is what I think.

SPEAKER_02 5:15

Fair. This episode opens up on the flash sideways. And oh, it has a name. Oh, yeah, they they have a name. They're flash sideways. John Locke parks in his driveway. The wheelchair lift on his van malfunctions, forcing him. He damn near throws himself off of the platform, like in his wheelchair, lands face down in the grass. And I'm sorry, but what what did you think was gonna happen if he can't use your legs? I think it was more like I'm stuck here.

SPEAKER_04 5:45

This fuck, at least I think it's more like at least I'm not stuck halfway up. And if I'm on the ground, I mean, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 5:55

I mean, if he was stuck all the way off, uh all the way up, he could have like honked his horn for Helen.

SPEAKER_04 6:02

But at this time, we don't know Helen was there, and he still he hasn't come to his his uh moment, so he still thinks he can do it.

SPEAKER_02 6:11

I think we're just supposed to see the sad, miserable luck.

SPEAKER_04 6:16

That and I yeah, I think it's he's sad and miserable because he refuses to come to terms with his reality, right?

SPEAKER_02 6:23

Because me, I would be pissed off, I would probably be like, fuck my life, but I would just sit there and say, hello, or or wait for somebody to pass and say, Hey, could you go ring the bell or could you help me? That would have been a logical solution. No, but yeah. Anyway, he falls, he lands in the lawn, the sprinklers turn on, because of course, and then oh look, Helen comes out of the house. She helps him up, she gets him in. Uh, he gets into a bath, and she's on the phone doing like wedding planning, and he's there sitting in the bath, drinking some coffee, looking at fabric swatches. She comes in and she's like, you know, maybe we should just like you know, invite my parents and your dad and go to Vegas. Oh, your dad? Okay, that clicked.

SPEAKER_04 7:23

I was like, um, another reason I'm it's like too good to be like everything is, you know, rosy.

SPEAKER_02 7:31

Right. And she finds Jack's card in his pants, and you know, she's like, wow, like what are the odds that you met a spinal surgeon? Maybe it's destiny. That's a word we get a lot. I did notes kind of in chronological order with some what's the word for when you amend stuff?

SPEAKER_04 7:54

Amend.

SPEAKER_02 7:55

Yeah, but no. Um uh adjustments, with some adjustments. Oh, I was halfway right. Okay. Okay. We cut back to the island, and we are seeing the island from the perspective of the smoke monster. Yeah, yeah. We see it pause at the barracks, and we hear the rock music inside, and you know, goes back into the jungle. It sees a machete lying on the ground, and then it transforms back into Locke, and we see it cut Richard down from a from uh like a trap in a tree, and he's like, it's time to talk. He gives Richard a drink of water and tells him that what he wants is what he's always wanted, and that's for Richard to come with him. Richard wants to know why he looks like Locke, and he says that it's because he knew that John Locke could get close to Jacob because he was a candidate. We still don't know what that means, but now we know what that means.

SPEAKER_00 8:55

Right.

SPEAKER_02 8:56

Here we still don't know what it means.

SPEAKER_04 8:58

It's a and it's funny that we you have to actually say at this point, the episode we don't know, but later on we do find out that just that's so unlike lost.

unknown 9:08

Right.

SPEAKER_04 9:08

The same episode, you get some answers.

SPEAKER_02 9:10

I know. So we're we're all Richard at this moment because Richard is like, huh? What? New island, who this lock as the man in black is like, um, wow, like so you'd follow Jacob without knowing why you were following him? I would have told you everything. I would never have kept you in the dark. And then it's like, um yeah. And then it's like, uh, so do you want to come with me?

SPEAKER_04 9:44

If you have tacos and tequila, yes, yes, I do.

SPEAKER_02 9:47

Right, right. Because um, do they have any of that on that island? So I would follow for tacos and tequila. But Richard is like, yeah, no. But at the same time, Locke sees a little boy in the jungle and is like completely fucking thrown off. Richard is like, the fuck is he looking at? Because Richard doesn't see anything. But Locke tells him, You sure? Because people don't always get a second chance, or something. I'm paraphrasing. Richard declines again, and he's like, All right, he walks away and he's like, Yep, I'll I'll see you sooner than you think. Back in the flash sideways, Locke returns to his desk at the box company, you know, after his quote, walkabout, and he's confronted by his boss, number one douchebag himself, Randy Nations. And he's like, Oh, so um, you know about the conference that we sent you to in Australia, and how was it? And Locke is like, Oh, yeah, it was great. And then he's like, Oh, but you missed this lunch, and oh, your badge was never picked up. Basically, Locke lied about where he went, and Randy fires him. Unpopular opinion the fucking company sent you there to attend a conference and you lied. I kind of feel like they're not wrong for firing you.

SPEAKER_04 11:13

No, he wasn't wrong. He wasn't wrong. I mean, because dude, you could at least pick up your thing, like make the funk a little bit better. But I don't but as we know from the first season, he did not give a flying fuck. There was no fucks given.

SPEAKER_02 11:26

No, and you know what? Listen, I get, I don't know. I know what Locke, what Locke wanted to do, he found it to be important to him, but no, I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 11:36

The fine was not uncalled for.

SPEAKER_02 11:40

Yeah. I mean, Randy's still a douche. No. But like, out of all the things that he's done, this one was actually kind of warranted. Correct. John packs up his shit and heads to the parking lot, except that he can't get to his van because, oh, look, there's a giant yellow Hummer parked next to him. So he goes and tries to get the lift to go down so that it could fuck up the Hummer, but it gets stuck. So he throws his keys, and I'm like, um, first of all, if you drop them on the floor next to you, you know damn well you can't fucking pick them up. But you threw them in between the two cars. What was the plan here, buddy? There was no plan.

SPEAKER_04 12:17

This is Angry Locke.

unknown 12:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 12:19

Can we see what happens with Angry Lock? Because the whole thing was him being all his issues, stems from the fact that he doesn't want to acknowledge his circumstances.

SPEAKER_02 12:31

Right. Because, and and this, you're right, this scene is a perfect example because number one, he starts banging on the Hummer so that the alarm goes off. Who we and we know who owns this Hummer, but it's none other than Hurley, or as he introduces himself to Locke, Hugo Reyes, and he's like, Oh, well, Locke is yelling at him, like, dude, you don't know how to park. Like, you gotta stay in the lines.

SPEAKER_04 12:56

Even if he stayed in the lines, there's no room for your thing to go down because you didn't park in the handicapped spot.

SPEAKER_02 13:04

And so that's what he tells him. He's like, you know, there's handicap, and he's like, Well, I don't have to park there, and I get it. But when you have a lift, you kind of have to. Right, you need that room. Listen, when I was on the crutches, I needed that extra room to get out of my car. So I'm sure most of you are familiar with handicap spots and they have the extra room on one side or the other. And so I always try to find the room to park, depending on if I was a driver or the passenger, so that when I opened the door, I could use my crutches to get out because I couldn't squeeze between cars. My door had to go all the way open so that I can, you know, flip the crutches out. And it's just a fact of, I mean, yeah, mine is temporary. But there was still the struggle, I'll admit. But my god, like you know damn well you can't squeeze out in between these fucking cars. Stop. Just stop. Or or just be one of those douchebags in a pickup truck and just park on the line, like right dead smack in the middle. Take up to two spots. So you're gonna park in a non-handicapped spot, just be that asshole. You're gonna be an asshole, being a complete asshole. You know, but okay, sorry, rant's over.

SPEAKER_04 14:25

Anyway, people listen for us for our rants.

SPEAKER_02 14:28

I hope so.

SPEAKER_04 14:31

So, Hugo, I'm gonna say Hugo, because you know, because he's Hugo, he's not he's not Hurly in this life, right?

SPEAKER_02 14:39

He's Hugo, he's Mr. Reyes, and he's like, you know, I'm so sorry. You know, they were supposed to reserve me a spot. Um, you know, I'm sorry. He was very nice about it, very apologetic, but that's how he is.

SPEAKER_04 14:50

That's just Hugo. That's just Hugo. Hugo is still Hurley, yeah. Like he's still, you know.

unknown 14:57

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04 14:58

If that makes sense. But her Hugo is totally different than Hurley, but they're still the same, you know.

SPEAKER_02 15:05

Well, Hugo is the luckiest man alive, and Hurley is not.

SPEAKER_04 15:08

Correct. But the I mean, the inner person, the good person, you know.

SPEAKER_02 15:14

So Locke is like, Oh, do you work here? He's like, Yeah, I own the place. Oh, okay. Oh, who are you? They introduce himself, and when he says, What do you do here? He's like, Well, nothing, because you know, that shithead Randy just fired me. I'm paraphrasing. And Hugo is like, Yeah, he's a douche. Which I I think you remember that that was also his boss. Mm-hmm. In in the chicken restaurant. Right. Randy Nations was also Hurley's boss.

SPEAKER_04 15:47

Uh, with the name of Randy Nations, you have no choice but to be a douche. I feel like or a porn star. Or a porn star or a douchey porn star. I don't know. I think like that character was like set up for failure, just by his name. That's hysterical.

SPEAKER_02 16:03

Yeah, so he offers to talk to him on Locke's behalf, and he's like, no, that's okay. So instead, he's like, Well, you know, I also own a temp agency, so here. Go get go there and tell them I sent you, and they'll hook you up with a job. Awesome. Back on the island, now we are with Ben and the what's left of the Losties 2.0, aka Ilana.

SPEAKER_04 16:29

Because everyone else is dead.

SPEAKER_02 16:31

Yeah. Ilana, Frank, son, and Ben. I think that's it. Ben walks into the statue, and Ilana's there crying, and she's like, you know, boo-hoo, my fallen teammates, and shit. She asks Ben what happened, and Ben is like, well, see what happened was.

SPEAKER_04 16:52

He did kill them all. I mean, he's not wrong in that one, but you know, it was the other part.

SPEAKER_02 16:57

Well, he was like, Ben and uh, sorry, Locke and only Locke killed them all. That's the ticket. I mean, sorry, I I love Saturday Night Live. I know I'm so fucking random. I think this wine has gone to my head.

SPEAKER_04 17:13

She's still left only, she's still like high hungover at this point.

SPEAKER_02 17:17

Maybe. Yeah, he's like, um, Locke kill killed them because he turned into the pillar of black smoke. And then when Alana's like, okay, but where's his body? He's like, well, you know, he kicked it into the fire and it burned away. So Alana's like, all right, cool. And she puts the ash into a bag. Ben is like, okay, but then why did the man in black take Richard? And Alana's like, ah, because he's recruiting. And in the brilliant way that Lost plays on the duality of things and the irony of things. We were just told that the real lock is gonna go to a temp agency to kind of recruit for jobs, you know.

SPEAKER_04 17:59

Oh, I yeah, I I missed that one. Yeah. Or be recruited or whatever. Well, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. I miss that one.

SPEAKER_02 18:10

We're back to the man in black. He's at Sawyer's house. Sawyer is like, uh, thought you were dead. And Locke is like, I am. I am.

unknown 18:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:20

And he's like, okay. All right, here's some whiskey.

SPEAKER_04 18:23

Yeah, pretty much what else? What else do you do? Honestly, what else would you do at that point?

SPEAKER_02 18:29

Yeah. So Sawyer pours himself and dead Locke some whiskey, and he tastes it, but he doesn't drink it. And Sawyer's like, listen, I I don't, I don't give a damn if you're dead. I like I don't care about anything. Just get the hell out of my house. But the man in black is like, actually, you just lived here, but this was never your house. And Sawyer's response is that I know that you are not Locke. Because Locke was always scared, even when he was pretending not to be. And you, you sir, are not. The thing is, Sawyer, okay, not just because Josh Holloway is really fucking hot, but Sawyer is probably one of the smartest people on this island.

SPEAKER_04 19:23

I concur.

SPEAKER_02 19:24

I mean, if you had a rank, if you had to say the top three smartest people on this island, I feel like Sawyer is definitely in the top three. And I think I would also put Juliet and Ben in there, also.

SPEAKER_04 19:42

I concur.

SPEAKER_02 19:42

I don't know which order.

SPEAKER_04 19:44

I think it depends on the situation. They rotate, and it depends on what context.

SPEAKER_02 19:49

So they're those three people, not only are they excellent at reading people, they're also excellent at manipulation. And say what you will, but that take brains. I concur. You guys no argument for me. If if you use that text us button, and if you agree or disagree, let us know. I'm I'm curious who people think are the smartest. Who would your top three or top five or whoever be? Fake lock says that if Sawyer goes with him, then he'll get the answer to the most important question. Why are you on this island? And Sawyer's like, well, uh, cause the plane crack crashed, because the raft blew up, the helicopter was too heavy, uh, you know. He like, you're such a fucking jerk, and I love it. But the fake lock is like, that's not the reason, and I can prove it if you come with me. I can prove it if you come with me. Okay. But Sawyer's like, all right, that's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_04 20:58

Sawyer's like, what else do I have to lose? At this point, he really doesn't give a fuck. He has nothing to lose. He's like, meh, whatever. I'm bored. I got the time today.

SPEAKER_02 21:09

Back with the losses one and a half point oh. Well, we're gonna split the difference, right? The average of one and two is one and a half. So it's half of the book going okay. Well, there's that too.

SPEAKER_05 21:24

Oh, that's not that you were making a dark joke. I'm like, oh, no, I really wasn't.

SPEAKER_02 21:28

I was just like the losses and the losties 2.0, but when you average them out, you get one and a half.

SPEAKER_05 21:33

I was like, because the half of 2.0 is dead. I'm so going to help.

SPEAKER_02 21:38

Well, actually, and only Sun, Sun is the only one there from the original Losties, and Alana is the only one there from the 2.0.

SPEAKER_04 21:48

2.0.

SPEAKER_02 21:49

I mean, Frank is not quite 2.0. Frank is just he wasn't lossy to begin with. And neither was Ben. Oh my god, I'm I'm back to one and a half.

SPEAKER_04 22:01

I'm just saying, whatever the reasoning is, one point half one and a half is good. I love it. I just like my dark version a little bit better because I'm evil.

SPEAKER_02 22:11

Back with the 1.1 and a half point oh's. I don't I don't know. Anyway, lost these 1.5. I thought it was a spider, like a giant spider, but in the in the on the internet it says it was a crab. So I don't know. But there's something with legs on locks.

SPEAKER_04 22:29

I thought that was a spider too.

SPEAKER_02 22:31

Yeah, I don't know. I I'm not sure how much money it would have to be off would have to be offered for me to lay there with that fucking thing on my head. And I'm pretty broke.

SPEAKER_04 22:42

I'm telling you right now, probably. Well, actually, I don't know. I think I have a number. I have a number. I don't know what that number is, but I have a number.

SPEAKER_02 22:49

Oh, there's definitely a number. But I look at what happened the last time. There was a teeny ass little fucking spider. Speaking of it. You want me to put one on my fucking body?

SPEAKER_04 23:02

I almost did, I almost didn't at least the last night. Oh, geez. I'm in bed watching TV and look at my ceiling, and there's a dark spot on the ceiling. I'm like, that spot's not that hasn't been there before. So I stand on my bed gingerly. And I hold the seal, I hold my hand on the ceiling to keep my balance. And it's a creature. So I get down off my bed. I go downstairs. Cause unfortunately, my was it, vivo? My little insect spray, my spider spray. I get back on my bed. I spray the bitch. I'm like, oh, let me go get my handheld, which is also downstairs. So I ease myself down. And then I completely forget that I'm actually on my bed that's already high to begin with. And I just like stepped down to the floor. And I was like, oh my God, that could have gone wrong on so many levels. I landed fine. But I had like a flash of what happened with you. And I'm like, oh my God. If I would have broken something while I'm recovering for surgery, I think I would have just killed my. I just would have jumped off the building. Like, I can't. But it was caused by a fucking the S word.

SPEAKER_02 24:16

Mm-hmm. Back to the whatever the fuck the creature is on Locke's ear. And Frank goes to cover the body because he's like getting kind of ripe. And then you see it scurry you off, and you're like, ugh.

SPEAKER_04 24:27

I thought it was like a fake thing at first. And then when I was hoping, I was just like, oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:32

So Ilana wants to go to the temple, and Sun is like, Well, why do you assume that we're all gonna go? And she's like, Because it's the safest place. Also, you know, if your husband, Jin, remember that guy is alive, that's where he'll be. And Sun is like, You keep my husband's name out your mouth. And she did everything but slap. Nah.

SPEAKER_04 24:57

Pretty much. She is her father's daughter.

SPEAKER_02 25:01

But she's like, the fuck you know about my husband?

SPEAKER_04 25:05

Seriously. Which how can that came to my head too?

SPEAKER_02 25:10

Yeah. So she's you know, okay, I'll go. But first, but first we need to bury John. So they bring him to the beach, like where everyone else is buried. And Ben wants to well, Ben asks Alana why did she bring Locke's body to the statue? And Alana says that because she needed to show the others what they were up against. But Ben is like, okay, but then wouldn't he just change form again? And she says, no, because now he's stuck in Locke's body. The group digs the grave, they put the body in it, and Alana's like, uh, anybody want to say anything? And even though Ben doesn't look like he wants to, he says something.

SPEAKER_04 26:02

And boy, does he say something.

SPEAKER_02 26:05

He's like, well, Locke was a believer. He was a man of faith. And, you know, he's a much better man than I'll ever be. And he's he's also like, and I'm very sorry that I killed him. Son and Alana look surprised. And Frank is like, this is the weirdest funeral I've ever been to.

SPEAKER_00 26:31

Does anyone want to say anything? Didn't any of you know him?

SPEAKER_01 27:03

Alright, I know him. John Locke was a believer. He was a man of faith. He was a much better man than I will ever be. And I'm very sorry I murdered him.

SPEAKER_04 27:28

And Frank, is he from New York? I feel like he he should be from New York. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:33

Well, I don't think it was ever said that he was from New York, but he mentioned that his father was from the Bronx. So oh he did. Okay, okay. I I just like that character is very New Yorkish. Yeah, he he bleeds Yankee Blue. Let's go, Yankees. Back to Fake Locke and Sawyer. They're in the jungle, and he wants to know why Zen Sawyer is at the temple with his friends. But the little boy is back. The little boy appears in the jungle again, but this time his arms are not bloody, and Sawyer can see the boy. And Fake Lock is like, Oh, you can see the boy? You know, he's just shocked. Fake Lock chases the boy into the jungle, eventually falling, and the boy is standing above him. The boy tells him, You know the rules, you can't kill him. And at this, fake lock is like, Don't tell me what I can't do. Where have we heard that before?

SPEAKER_04 28:34

I found that to be kind of funny.

SPEAKER_02 28:36

Meanwhile, while lock while Fake Lock is yelling at a dead kid, or you know, a mysterious kid in the jungle that only some people can see. Richard appears to well, approaches Sawyer and urges him to go to the temple, telling him that Fake Lock wants everybody dead. Sawyer's like, yeah, except I'm still with going with him because he promised me answers. Richard hears uh Fake Lock coming back, and so he's like, nope, scurries back on off into the jungle. And Fake Lock is like, who are you talking to? And Sawyer's like, nobody. And then it's like, hey, but you know, did you ever catch up to the kid? To which Fake Lock is like, what kid? Yeah, okay. Sawyer's like, all right, let's let's let's just go. They continue, and Sawyer starts asking him if he reads, and that his favorite book is Steinbecks of Mice and Mim. Fake Lock is like, well, that book was written a little after A little bit after my time.

SPEAKER_04 29:41

That I found funny.

SPEAKER_02 29:43

And Sawyer says a brief little synopsis of the book and then pulls a gun on Fake Lock and saying, What would happen if I put a bullet in your head? And Fake Lock is like, All right, why don't you find out? Totally fucking indifferent that he's got a gun in his face. Sawyer asks him what he is, and he replies that he's trapped. And he's been trapped for so long that he doesn't even remember what it feels like to be free. Yeah, he says he was once a man who had normal human emotions, and that he also knows what it's like to lose someone he loved.

SPEAKER_04 30:18

And I find it funny that, but that's yes, that's the man in black story, but that's also I can hear that coming from Locke also. I'm trapped, I'm no longer the man I used to be.

SPEAKER_02 30:31

So I find that to be And it could go for Sawyer, also, also.

SPEAKER_04 30:35

Oh, it goes for all of them.

unknown 30:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:38

So he prod Sawyer into continue following him because Sawyer is so close now, and it would be a shame to turn back. We're gonna go back to the temp agency where the interviewer is asking John dumbest fucking questions and what kind of animal he would be. And if he's a people person and John is like, right, let me just speak to your supervisor. Supervisor is none other than Rose Nadler. Rose. John is like, well, I see you have a job here in construction and I want it. And Rose is like, well, that's not a good match, and experience is not the issue. She's like, Motherfucker, you need to be realistic. I'm paraphrasing, but that's what she should have said.

SPEAKER_05 31:26

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 31:28

John is like, what do you know about being realistic? And she's like, Well, I know because I have cancer, motherfucker, and I had to get past my denial to continue living whatever life I have left. And then, like magic, John is like, Okay, cool, I'll calm down. Later, we see John getting up in the morning. He's in the mirror, he's pondering, calling Jack Shepherd's office. He calls, but when the receptionist asks if she could help, he's like, You can't, and then he hangs up. Helen walks in and she's like, Who are you talking to? No one. No one. He tells Helen that he got fired, but before she can respond, the doorbell rings and it's his lost luggage. And I love that, like he's using one of those old Nextel phones, and it's like chirp, chirp. You remember them?

SPEAKER_04 32:18

Yes. I didn't, but uh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:23

They're sitting at the table, and he tells her that he was fired for lying and that he didn't go to the conference. He instead wanted to go on a walkabout, but they wouldn't let him go, so he became angry and you know, said his famous line, don't tell me what I can't do. He says that the knives are in his luggage and he shows her, and he says that he's tired of imagining life without being paralyzed, and he's gonna accept his limitations. He tells her that he won't be able to walk down the aisle and that she shouldn't have to spend her life waiting for a miracle. He's like, There's no such thing. And she says there are, but reassures him that she loves him no matter what, and the only thing she was ever waiting for was him. And she tears up the business card. We see on another day that John is working as a teacher at a junior high school. First, we see him leading the gym class, then he's about to teach some kids about the human reproductive system, and after that, he finds his way to the teacher's lounge. What? He finds his way to the he finds his way to the teacher's lounge, and as he enters, there's some idiot yelling about coffee and who didn't change the filter, and it's none other than Benjamin Linus. Locke is like, actually, I was hoping for some Earl Grey tea. He's like, ah, a gentleman's drink. And then he introduces himself and he says that he teaches European history. I feel like it was not such a stretch, you know, with all the kind of characters still kind of coexisting in this flash sideways. That of course, if there was gonna be some guy getting pissed off about who drank the last cup of coffee and didn't change a coffee filter, it was going to be dead.

SPEAKER_04 34:28

And that's another reason I think that this is the app, this is them dead, because I get how their lives would have intermingled, like the people on the plane, but people who were never on the plane that were already on the island, how does the plane not crashing all of a sudden mean that the people that were on the island are now off the island, living a life? So like the plane not crashing would have just automatically, you know what I mean? Because Oh, actually, yeah, because they avoided the they avoided the event. Yes, because it's right.

SPEAKER_02 35:08

Is this the aftermath of the incidents?

SPEAKER_04 35:12

Incidents, yes. I still think they're dead, but go ahead, keep going.

SPEAKER_02 35:15

Okay. Back on the island, the man in black, aka fake lock and Sawyer arrive at a cliff, and fake lock is like, all right, we're here. We're it's over there. And Sawyer's like, um, see, cool, you're dead, but I'm not trying to be dead. Like, uh, you could do that. I'm not. And Fake Lock is like, it's cool, I'll go first. He climbs over the cliff and is like a series of bamboo and rope ladders. Sawyer ends up following, but the ladder gives way. Of course, and it's like he's just like it looked like when Locke was flying out the window, the way he was like flying back.

SPEAKER_04 36:00

Maybe that was intentional.

SPEAKER_02 36:02

Could be. Maybe. And fake Locke reaches over, he helps Sawyer finally kind of get onto the better ladder, the stable ladder. And when they come to a shelf on like on the side of the cliff, there's a cave there and they go in. First inside the cave is a scale. There's a white stone and a black stone. Fake Lock takes the white stone and chucks it into the sea, and he's like, uh, inside joke. Then he gets a torch and says, you know, come on. Like, cause Sawyer is like, This is this is why the fuck I'm here for for some fucking rocks in a scale. Like, the fuck. He leads him deeper into the cage and he's like, This is why you're here. This is actually like why you're all here. And on the ceiling and the walls are names scratched into the rock. And they're all preceded by a number, and most of them are actually crossed through. He tells Sawyer that the man who wrote them was Jacob. And Sawyer's like, was Jacob? And he's like, Oh yeah, he died yesterday. But it's okay, because like he's he's not that upset. And he says, you know, but not all the names are crossed out, at which point Sawyer sees because he's showing them and he's like, Look, Shepard, Reyes, and then when they get to Kwan, and fucking unicorn, what the hell?

SPEAKER_04 37:33

Oh, it's actually holding my stomach. My sister sent me this unicorn, it says get well soon. Uh-huh. And then my name employed it on. Yes, it's an extra S. She goes, It has I spelt it wrong. I was like, it's okay, because just it's like the extra S for sassy.

SPEAKER_02 37:52

Aw.

SPEAKER_04 37:52

So she's like, okay, I feel bad. Yeah, because I'm the sassy. Remember that mattress commercial? And leave all that last S for savings.

SPEAKER_02 38:00

Yeah, so after S, add an extra S for sass for sassiness. When they get to Kwan, and I don't know if you caught this. I feel like you did, but it's you, so and it's not like a diehard movie, so I don't know what you remember. But did you see the corresponding numbers?

SPEAKER_04 38:21

I just see the numbers. I don't remember what their number was, but I I caught all the numbers.

SPEAKER_02 38:27

I'm like, well, it's it's funny if you don't remember which number is belong to who. Okay. But the fact that it's the same numbers that we've seen.

SPEAKER_04 38:36

See it over, yeah, because every time I'm I looked at the numbers, I'm like, here comes in my head. I'm like, okay, this is a this is what Lisa's gonna enter.

SPEAKER_02 38:47

But anyway, Kwan was on the wall, but we don't know if it's Jin or Sun. I think it was both. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 38:57

Because he touched both of them.

SPEAKER_02 38:58

He did touch both of them, right? And you know, so fake Locke is like, leave and I'm up there. And he explains to them that they had all been touched by Jacob at some point of their lives before coming to the island. And Sawyer is like, uh, but what about the numbers? And he's like, Well, you know, he had Jacob had a thing for numbers. And the last one that we see is number 15, who is Ford. Four was Locke, eight Reyes, 16 Jera, 42, Kwan, and 23 Shepard. The last one we see is 15, who's Ford, Sawyer. And Sawyer's like, I never met Jacob. But fake Locke says, at some point you did. Probably when you were vulnerable or miserable, he came to you, manipulated you, pulled your strings like you were a puppet. And as a result, the choices you thought you made were never really choices. He was pushing you to the island. So basically, fake lock is saying that these are all people who were candidates for Jacob's job, and Jacob's Jacob thought it was his job to protect the island. And Sawyer is like, uh, huh? What what about it needs protecting? And Fake Lock says, nothing. That's the joke. It's just a damn island. He says that Sawyer has three options. One, do nothing, see how it all plays out, and possibly your name will get crossed out. And as he says that, he crosses out Locke's name. Two, take over Jacob's job and protect the island, you know, from nothing. Or three, we just go. We get the hell off this island and never look back, and we do that together. And then he and then fake Locke says to Sawyer if he's ready to go home, and Sawyer responds, hell yes. And that is where the episode ends. After this episode, we see that the numbers have some meaning. They each refer to a person who had landed on the island, and it really kind of puts into play the whole fate versus free will.

SPEAKER_04 41:28

And the man in black. What is that? What is that um passage? He comes to you in sheep's clothing.

SPEAKER_02 41:39

Something like that. I don't I don't really know.

SPEAKER_04 41:41

Well, I've watched Devil's Advocate like 600 times. So you ever see the movie? I saw that. Oh my god, at least at least she watched it.

SPEAKER_02 41:50

I've actually seen it, yes, I've actually seen it. But like I saw it when I was like what 18 or 17? When did it come out?

SPEAKER_04 41:57

So I mean, there was this well, Keanu Reeves's mother, who was very religious, and when she met the devil, you know, she starts saying the passage.

SPEAKER_02 42:07

He comes to you and she rewatch it at some point.

SPEAKER_04 42:09

But anywho, so that's the reason I know that passage really well. Because I'm a heathen and I'm not quite religious. What is that non-practicing human? Yeah. I'm a non-practicing human. Let's be real.

SPEAKER_02 42:21

After this episode, do you feel any differently about what's going on and the lore of the show?

SPEAKER_04 42:31

My thoughts I said at the beginning of the episode based on this episode. Uh did that make sense?

SPEAKER_02 42:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 42:39

Okay, good.

SPEAKER_02 42:40

The title of the episode, the substitute, has multiple meanings.

SPEAKER_04 42:45

Locke, the substitute teacher, men in black being the substitute Locke. Um, there was something else, and then substituting a new Jacob. Right, right.

SPEAKER_02 42:58

Yay! Oh, yeah, Locke. Is is kind of a substitute for Christian's body.

SPEAKER_04 43:04

Oh, right, right, right.

SPEAKER_02 43:08

So supposedly there was something called like the mysteries of the universe. And the question that Locke does asked in his in Locke is asked in his interview, uh, what animal he identifies with is supposedly one of the interview questions used by Dharma.

SPEAKER_04 43:25

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 43:26

I don't know, but Locke is finally buried after first being seen 34 episodes ago. Granted, the first time we saw was in Through the Looking Glass part two, and even though you don't quite see his body, but like that's the first time that dead Locke. You know?

SPEAKER_04 43:50

Interesting.

SPEAKER_02 43:52

In the flash sideways, Locke's socks are white, but in the original timeline, they were black.

unknown 44:00

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 44:01

I remember there's a huge black and white theme.

SPEAKER_04 44:05

Good versus evil, ebony and ivory.

SPEAKER_02 44:09

Come together in the perfect.

SPEAKER_04 44:12

Oh, look, you and me.

SPEAKER_05 44:17

If you guys could see her face, she looked like what is she talking about?

SPEAKER_02 44:21

I was confused for a second.

SPEAKER_05 44:23

I meant like literally, like hello.

SPEAKER_04 44:26

Not not um figuratively. I meant literally. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:31

So that you know, the character connections, as we talked about, right? Locke is a substitute teacher and Ben is there. The company that Locke works for, Hurley owns it. Rose is the supervisor at the employment agency. Helen is back. They're engaged and happy. And the fact that she's like, will invite your father suggests that they're on good terms. And there's a picture of Locke and his father that can be seen on his desk at the box company.

SPEAKER_04 45:04

So, yeah. All of this just proves my point. They'd be dead.

SPEAKER_02 45:11

Alright, so some cultural references, Tibetan Buddhism. The scale with the black and white rocks is part of a Buddhist mythology in which a god called the Dharma Raja judges the dead using such a scale.

SPEAKER_04 45:27

A lot of religion in this in this show, period.

SPEAKER_02 45:32

In both of the timelines, Ben recognizes Locke's good qualities. He gave the speech at his grave, you know, where he said good things about Locke. But then in the flash sideways, he also said that his desire for Earl Great T was the mark of a gentleman. In a previous episode, Rousseau described the smoke monster as a security system protecting the island. But Fake Loc says that the island doesn't require any sort of protection. The man in black, Fake Lock, says to Sawyer that Jacob manipulated him when he was miserable and vulnerable. And look at the irony, that's exactly what he's doing at that very moment.

SPEAKER_04 46:19

Very moment.

SPEAKER_02 46:20

Jacob, after Sawyer had just lost his father, and now Fake Locke, when Sawyer had just lost Juliet. Well, actually, Sawyer had lost both of his parents, not just his father.

SPEAKER_04 46:32

Right.

SPEAKER_02 46:33

And I I feel like Jack giving Locke his card when they met at the lost luggage office is also kind of what's the word, like an analogy? I don't know. Because like they're both, they both lost something, they're both seeking something, and they came together. Man in Black says that the island is just the island and doesn't need protecting. And I'm not sure if you remember, but Jack also had said this to Locke in a previous episode. I don't remember which episode, but he did say it. You know what?

SPEAKER_04 47:11

The funny thing is, Jacob was, I don't think he was protecting the island. I think he was the warden to keep the man in black on the island.

SPEAKER_02 47:22

So was Jacob a good guy or a bad guy? I think he was a good guy.

SPEAKER_04 47:26

And of course, there's always a duality with good and evil. Like, like the yin and yang is always a little like gotta be in a little black in the white, a little white in the black, whatever. But I think overall, I think he was a goodish guy.

SPEAKER_02 47:39

Okay. Goodish guy. Got it.

SPEAKER_04 47:42

Yeah, goodish, yes.

SPEAKER_02 47:43

Okay. Do you have anything else before we wrap this one up?

SPEAKER_04 47:46

I don't believe so. I think I had enough points to I think I did a good job today, mom. I think you actually paid attention. I usually do pay attention.

SPEAKER_02 47:56

It's just But you're not multitasking because you know you're still recovering, so now you can actually watch. Well, no.

SPEAKER_04 48:04

It takes a lot of episodes for me to have a thought, like this is four episodes in. I had to get the lay of the land before I can like start putting things together.

SPEAKER_02 48:13

Okay. The next episode is called The Lighthouse. I'm just gonna warn you that some of these episodes are gonna get a little bit intense. So I'm going to let you know when you're gonna need to take an Atavan.

SPEAKER_04 48:32

I don't have feelings. It's fine. I don't have feelings. It's fine. It's fine. Sure hope so. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 48:40

Anyhow. Text us for your thoughts on the smartest people.

SPEAKER_04 48:51

And I don't know if we're gonna be in that group.

SPEAKER_02 48:54

No, no, no, like island people.

SPEAKER_04 48:56

Yeah, I know, but it was a joke. Like the smartest, like we're not part of that.

SPEAKER_02 48:59

No. Also, go follow us on social media because why not? We're funny. Yeah, follow us on social media. Don't drink and drive, drink responsibly, sassenssips.com. And until next time, I'm Lisa. And I'm Magnus. And we are out of here. See you later.

SPEAKER_04 49:18

Bye.

SPEAKER_02 49:27

And Sawyer is drunk on the floor with the whiskey and the loud music.

SPEAKER_00 49:33

I want to do naughty things to him.

SPEAKER_04 49:38

Really? Huh? Are you really gonna have to cut that? Oh, yeah, because your kids. Yeah, you have.

SPEAKER_02 49:44

Yeah. I hope they don't listen. Anyway.

SPEAKER_04 49:47

The one time you don't want your kids and your family to support you, right?

SPEAKER_02 49:51

Right. But it's it's cool, they usually don't.